This is the poem that came closest to being my life, but for a personal leap of faith.

Of Course I Wrote

Of course I wrote
I thought that we were going somewhere,
this world of mine and me
But she threw me off like a bad bronc,
into the age of older men,
when I was still a child
in my mind
and proved herself unchanged

The same wars as my father’s wars
and his father’s
The blinder side of greed,
when I thought I’d begun
to see something better
Grinding out instead
the same old product,
better advertised
And I bought it all too willingly

And if that sounds trite
or too abused a use of words,
it’s because I found myself
an abuser like all others
When I should have been more,
invested more
and owed more too
Came up bankrupt, dusting off
the grit of better things

It’s enough, just to have been here,
has to be enough,
because it’s all there is
My ride’s been a good ride, eight seconds
right to the bell, but like I said,
I thought we would go somewhere
and not just spin in the saddle
It’s left me dazed and staggering,
tossed off among the scribblers

Poetry Collection: The Smell of Tweed and Tobacco
This poem is included in
Jim Freeman’s
poetry collection


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